Karl Stenske, M.A., AMFT

“Life shouldn’t be this hard. Relationships shouldn’t be this hard! Is it me? Maybe we just aren’t a fit. I can’t imagine my life without him. I’m scared to be alone. I can’t keep living like this. I feel broken. I was adopted so it must be me.” 

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You aren’t sure if your relationship can be fixed. There was so much love and passion before; somehow it all went wrong. But life without your partner seems unimaginable. Every relationship has challenging times. For some those rough spots become traps and you don’t know how to break free. For others, those hard times are magnified by hurts experienced many years before you ever met your partner. 

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Healing a relationship takes hard work and commitment. It often includes the need to heal yourself individually at the same time. Your or your partner’s adoptive history may be having a bigger influence than you realized. So often we don’t know how impactful adoption is to us as individuals and especially the effect on our romantic life. 

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So often, we struggle to admit that adoption could adversely influence so much. Yet, it can have deep and lasting effects on adoptees and those who love them. I work with couples whose relationship is struggling due to the challenges of being adopted or the stressors of having adopted children.

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We are hurt in relationship, and it is in relationship that we find healing.

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Holding two master’s degrees, one in Marriage and Family Therapy and the other in Adoption Studies built upon a bachelor’s degree in Psychology of Communication, I bring over 15 years of experience in working with individuals and couples through some of life’s most challenging issues. As the former director of a foster and adoption agency and working as part of a team to change Montana adoption laws to allow open access to birth records, I am well-versed in trauma, attachment, relinquishment, reunification, searching, relationships, and parenting adopted and foster children. Using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and other couples-focused modalities, I help partners reconnect, improve communication, and rebuild trust.

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I am an adoptee and sibling of an adopted child. I have searched, found, and reunified with biological family. I have and do walk the same path as my clients, experiencing their journey firsthand.

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Associate Marriage and Family Therapist 136098, supervised by Sari Rose Barron, MFC 87400.